Changing

Recently i been doing a lot of job hunting.

It hasn't been smooth.

Some people I should stay with my current job . Where I get along with my bosses and everything else, where I feel so comfortable with.

But I have my own desire . 

I believe there are rooms I can improve , and there are things I can learn better else where .

Interviews have not been so successful .. Finding another job hasn't been as smooth as I thought it would be.  I thought my long experience in one place would benefits me, however today at the job interview pointed out that is not necessary a good thing to see on your CV.  

It also reveals to me that instead of flourish, I have been under this long protected shelter all these time .  

I want to learn, desperately .  I don't want to be protected .  I want to be a great montessorian.  Where I can prepare children to be ready for their future life.  

The job hunting process have been a sort of toleration, I been stress out it about it.  I was not worrying about being jobless , or what I am going to face in the future , but I was rather feeling guilty inside as I have to leave someone who been spoiling me for the past 5 years.

That's what I meant by protected.  My boss has tried her best to take care of me , teaching me what she knows. But in these interviews I been to recently , I felt these people all have doubt about me .. 

What are these doubts? I really want to know .. So why did these 5 years experiences did not made me an capable candidate? What is wrong with me ? Why were they not convinced that I am capable ? 

I ain't too sure about myself now . Seems like all these confident I built up thru years breakdown into pieces ... 

God .  Please lead the way .