Hiding from place to place
I need strength to overcome
2015年2月24日 星期二
God- a prayer on a Wednesday morning
This morning i suddenly had a thought about my God. I was thinking maybe I should set aside what my parents has influenced me and stop taking this God as my parents God and start seeing him as my personal God.
God has so much mercies on me. Uncountable blessings that I do not deserve.
Again I was thinking about my brother this morning. My daily routine to pray for him ... I was praying that Sam could start loving God again ... That he could return God's love with his heart... I know God has his time and God has shown me many times that he is with me and Sam on this issue... So maybe I should stop worrying ...
God please let my parents have the time in this life to witness your mercies on Sam.
I love you God x
2014年10月19日 星期日
Moving on...
Recently changed to my new job and i realised I'm hammered by my low self-esteem. I am afraid to social with the parents, I am not good at communicate with them as I'm afraid I might say something inappropriate... One of the parents withdrawal. tot it wasn't really my fault but i think me was the one who gave her this little push.
So last night i went online and trying to find some self-help books... wanting to see what I can do to give it a boost... found nothing. Went to church this morning, and I said to God, if this is just a matter of to totally depending(完全倚靠) on you, I am willing to leave my matters in your hands.
Came back from church, went for an afternoon nap. in my dream I see my badminton friends again... Charlotte, Phoebe, Havie, Jos... we were on a coach.. when I woke up I tried to think what does that mean, does these old days experiences related to my lack of confident issue these days?
Thinking back, I always always blamed Annie. I was so happy with those ghost girls until she appears in school and she was the one who drafted me away from them.. I remember there was this one PE lessons the ghost girls were trying to get me into a group with them but when they saw annie approaching they left... I was left lonely rest of that 4 years @ badminton.
But what can I do, how do I get out of it?
I will let this be a journey to walk with God.
So last night i went online and trying to find some self-help books... wanting to see what I can do to give it a boost... found nothing. Went to church this morning, and I said to God, if this is just a matter of to totally depending(完全倚靠) on you, I am willing to leave my matters in your hands.
Came back from church, went for an afternoon nap. in my dream I see my badminton friends again... Charlotte, Phoebe, Havie, Jos... we were on a coach.. when I woke up I tried to think what does that mean, does these old days experiences related to my lack of confident issue these days?
Thinking back, I always always blamed Annie. I was so happy with those ghost girls until she appears in school and she was the one who drafted me away from them.. I remember there was this one PE lessons the ghost girls were trying to get me into a group with them but when they saw annie approaching they left... I was left lonely rest of that 4 years @ badminton.
But what can I do, how do I get out of it?
I will let this be a journey to walk with God.
2014年9月28日 星期日
結婚一週年。佔領中環開始
杶籷
今天完全不想看Facebook
全是悲憤，無奈，負面的status.
看了很心痛。
很難不負面，
自那次7。1遊行之後，我已經覺得香港面對著，和之前的不一樣。
一開始我是支持和平佔中的，
直到看到學生被煽動，
警察使用暴力。。。
很多人將今天見到的和6.4的時候比較，
問題是，6.4時那些大人並不認同那些孩子做的，
但今天的大人，生長於繁華的香港，
大多數受過優良的教育，
為什麼要用回這些不civilised 的方法去煽動現在的孩子去爭取民主？
沒有其他的方法了嗎？
我們可以罷工，罷市
這些比佔中更有效的方法
可以令社會經濟受影響，
經濟受影響，政府才會聽我們的聲音
一開始就去做我們可以做的，
保護孩子，而不是要孩子去衝鋒陷陣。
所以我不明白，
為什麼做成學生受傷，
才去說叫大人站出來。
今天是我和老公一週年，
但是看到Facebook 心情一整天都沈重
我們回到結婚的酒店吃buffet,
我post 了一段happy sharing 在status ,
Just wanted to brighten up my page .
竟然有人不要在Facebook share 這樣的status .叫我看看現在的香港。
我心裡真的一刻的wtf .
在Facebook 大家一起擔心，難過,發放負面情緒有用嗎？
我吃buffet 代表我們不關心香港嗎？
I thought we are fighting for freedom here .
我明白大家都痛心香港變成這樣，
對佔中這個做法亦有太多的意見。
個人（一開始）就認為，佔中並不會令政府聽我們的聲音，
因為對他們並沒有利益影響。
第一次，我覺得香港不安全。
除政府令我害怕，共產黨令我討厭，
還有一些進激的香港人。
2014年8月22日 星期五
Don't try to see yourself through other people eyes . Instead look at yourself through your own heart
I heard quite a few negative things about me from my previous parents recently . And all I can say is I have always tried my best best to nurture your children while I was their teacher .
Sorry I might not be the best person to communicate with , or to tell jokes , or to brighten up the atmosphere . I might not be there best loving person you can see from your eyes , but you cannot judge my inside. The effort I have put in , you cannot see it.
It started to upset me a bit. Then it came to the the realization that I held back becoz I was shy . I am shy becoz I had no confidence. No confidence hence no improvement nor achievement .
Think positive please ! Be confidence !
Do not look at yourself from other people's eyes . Look at yourself from your heart .
2014年4月14日 星期一
Changing
Recently i been doing a lot of job hunting.
It hasn't been smooth.
Some people I should stay with my current job . Where I get along with my bosses and everything else, where I feel so comfortable with.
But I have my own desire .
I believe there are rooms I can improve , and there are things I can learn better else where .
Interviews have not been so successful .. Finding another job hasn't been as smooth as I thought it would be. I thought my long experience in one place would benefits me, however today at the job interview pointed out that is not necessary a good thing to see on your CV.
It also reveals to me that instead of flourish, I have been under this long protected shelter all these time .
I want to learn, desperately . I don't want to be protected . I want to be a great montessorian. Where I can prepare children to be ready for their future life.
The job hunting process have been a sort of toleration, I been stress out it about it. I was not worrying about being jobless , or what I am going to face in the future , but I was rather feeling guilty inside as I have to leave someone who been spoiling me for the past 5 years.
That's what I meant by protected. My boss has tried her best to take care of me , teaching me what she knows. But in these interviews I been to recently , I felt these people all have doubt about me ..
What are these doubts? I really want to know .. So why did these 5 years experiences did not made me an capable candidate? What is wrong with me ? Why were they not convinced that I am capable ?
I ain't too sure about myself now . Seems like all these confident I built up thru years breakdown into pieces ...
God . Please lead the way .
2014年3月13日 星期四
蒙特悛利教學法
我職業病發作，好想同大家(由其是如果你反對做怪獸家長+討厭香港勁辛苦的教育方式嘅wow 友）分享我這個方面的經驗 ,請多多指教！每一人位我身邊的朋友要生BB的話我一定會送這本書給他們， <叫在家也能蒙特悛利>,他會講到如何在寶寶一出生就給他們一個自由，開放， 安全的學習環境。 準媽媽有興趣的話可以去買一本來看看哦~~
其實當你開始為你的BB找playgroup ,你會come across 很多關於Montessori 的東西，因為很多地方都用這個教學方式做賣點。不過要小心，因為好多都只是掛羊頭賣狗肉，“唔好比人呃”。老實說playgroup 是一樣很commercial 的東西，用途是給你的小朋友和其他小朋友有多一些 interaction ,Montessori 方法在這個年紀（before age 2)其實作用不大，有標榜這個方法的地方可能收費貴小小，但其實不會有太大幫助。在教學方面， Maria Montessori好自己suggested 小朋友返Montessori school 的年齡是2-6歲，
反而在兩歲之前，如果在家裡應用，對小朋友成長會很好。因為要看Montessori 為一種生活模式。Montessori 好著重小朋友有自己嘅思想，目標去培養小朋友的協調能力，獨立能力和尊注力，令他們自愛和自信。 因為小朋友在成人的世界裡經常會感到挫折，因為大人總是給他們穿衣服， 穿鞋子， 扣摟，倒水， 什至餵他們吃飯! 其實小孩需要被尊重，一段1.5 至2 歲的小朋友已經可以開始學習做以上的東西。 
講多小小在學校的情況吧。。。在課室裡，我們會有5 個重要的area尸.
- practical life -讓小孩子學會做日常生活的東西。 For example, 扣摟，拉拉鏈， 開瓶子和關上它們， 倒水， 用匙羹‘畢’東西， 洗衣服， 洗碗， 淋花等等的東西。和其他可以訓練小肌肉的練習。
- Sensorial -去訓練小朋友的五官，由其是眼睛， 而每一樣都是要小朋友用手去學習，去觸摸來吸收知識。
- Language
- Mathematics
- Culture
我們認為小朋友應該有自由選擇but freedom within limits. 在教學形式上， 是小朋友一走進課室， 他們會自己去選擇自己想做的練習， 而他們所選擇的是要之前老師做過一次給他們看的， 這樣他們會培養到尊注力， 因為是他們自己選擇的，我們亦都不會去限制他做這個練習多久， 只要他是認真在做的就可以了。 由於Montessori 是混齡班， 這個模式是要年紀較大的去幫年紀較小的學生， 讓小朋友懂得和不同年紀的人相處和尊重他們。 2﹣3 歲的小朋友通常會在practical life 和sensorial area， 好讓他們去打好在4,5,6 歲學習的Mathematics 和language的根基.我經常覺得，香港對小朋友不太健康，每一件事都要比較， 由BB仔的時候已經要爭學校， 琴棋書畫樣樣精， 游水跳舞朗讀唱歌已經只不過是入場卷，一日可能要返兩間學校， 一間中文一間英文， 返local kindgergarten 可能還要做功課! Montessori 是要小朋友在快樂自由環境中學習， 有家長試過送4.5 歲才送小朋友到這裡是要他學多一點數學! (因為montessori 數學的教才是比出面學校的深，不過他們能學懂是因為根基做得好，插班生是沒有用的….)我相信~每一個準媽媽都是希望孩子將來是快樂的。。
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