Recently changed to my new job and i realised I'm hammered by my low self-esteem. I am afraid to social with the parents, I am not good at communicate with them as I'm afraid I might say something inappropriate... One of the parents withdrawal. tot it wasn't really my fault but i think me was the one who gave her this little push.
So last night i went online and trying to find some self-help books... wanting to see what I can do to give it a boost... found nothing. Went to church this morning, and I said to God, if this is just a matter of to totally depending(完全倚靠) on you, I am willing to leave my matters in your hands.
Came back from church, went for an afternoon nap. in my dream I see my badminton friends again... Charlotte, Phoebe, Havie, Jos... we were on a coach.. when I woke up I tried to think what does that mean, does these old days experiences related to my lack of confident issue these days?
Thinking back, I always always blamed Annie. I was so happy with those ghost girls until she appears in school and she was the one who drafted me away from them.. I remember there was this one PE lessons the ghost girls were trying to get me into a group with them but when they saw annie approaching they left... I was left lonely rest of that 4 years @ badminton.
But what can I do, how do I get out of it?
I will let this be a journey to walk with God.
